She had that
Camarillo Brillo
Flamin' out along her head
I mean her Mendocino bean-o
By where some bugs had made it red

She ruled the Toads
Of the Short Forest
And every newt in Idaho
And every cricket who had chorused
By the bush in Buffalo

She said she was
A Magic Mama
And she could throw a mean Tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know

She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had grey-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(I couldn't come in right then . . .)

And so she wandered
Through the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I'd just love it in her room

Well, I was born
To have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets

She stripped away
Her rancid poncho
An' laid out naked by the door
We did it till we were un-concho
An' it was useless any more

She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had grey-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(actually, I was very busy then)

(Is that a real poncho? . . . I mean
Is that a Mexican poncho
or is that a Sears poncho . . .
Hmmm . . . no foolin . . .)

I am gross and perverted
I'm obsessed 'n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little has changed
I am the tool of the Government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you

I may be vile and pernicious
But you can't look away
I make you think I'm delicious
With the stuff that I say
I am the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I'm the slime oozin' out
From your TV set

You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don't need you
Don't go for help ... no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold

That's right, folks . . .
Don't touch that dial

Well, I am the slime from your video
Oozin' along on your livin' room floor
I am the slime from your video
Can't stop the slime, people, lookit me go

Give me
Your dirty love
Like you might surrender
To some dragon in your dreams

Give me
Your dirty love
Like a pink donation
To the dragon in your dreams

I don't need your sweet devotion
I don't want your cheap emotion
Whip me up some dragon lotion
For your dirty love

Give me
Your dirty love
Like some tacky little pamphlet
In your daddy's bottom drawer

Give me
Your dirty love
I don't believe you never seen
That book before

I don't need no consolation
I don't want your reservation
I only got one destination
An' that's your dirty love

Give me
Your dirty love
Just like your mama
Make her fuzzy poodle do

Give me
Your dirty love
The way your mama
Make that nasty poodle chew

I'll ignore your cheap aroma
And your little-bo-peep diploma
I'll just put you in a coma
With some dirty love

THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Snap it!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Snap it!)

Well, my dandruff is loose
An' my breath is chartreuse
I know I ain't cute
An' my voice is ka-poot

But that's awright people
I'm just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way

I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say

Ain't gonna sing you no love song
How my heart is all sore
Will not beg your indulgence
'cause you heard it before

But that's awright people
I'm just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way

I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say

I have taken your time
I have sung you my song
Ain't no great revelation
But it wasn't too long

An' that's awright people
I'm just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way

I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say

Three hundred years ago
Thought I might get some sleep
Stretched myself out onna antique bed
An' my spirit did a midnite creep

You know I'll never sleep no more

To me it seem that it just ain't wise

Didja ever wake up in the mornin'
With a ZOMBY WOOF behind your eyes?

I am the ZOMBY WOOF
I'm that creature all the ladies been
Talkin' about

I am the ZOMBY WOOF
They all seek for shelter when I come
Chargin' out

Tellin' you all the Zomby troof
Here I'm is, the ZOMBY WOOF

Tellin' you all the Zomby troof
Here I'm is ...

Reety-awrighty, he da ZOMBY WOOF
Reety-awrighty, he da ZOMBY WOOF

They said aw-reety
An' they was aw-righty
An' I was a Zomby for you, little lady . . .

I got a great big pointed fang
Which is my Zomby Toof
My right foot's bigger than my other one is
Like a reg'lar Zomby Hoof
If I raid your dormitorium
Don't try to remain aloof. . .

I might snatch you up screamin' through the window all nekkid
An' do it to you up on the roof
Don't mess with the ZOMBY WOOF
I am about as evil as a Boogie Man can be!

Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the ZOMBY WOOF

Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the ZOMBY WOOF

I couldn't say where she's comin' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She stroll on over, say look here, bum
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y' jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
Done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm

I got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it

'Cause I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
'Cause I never get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it To get myself into it

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said . . .)

Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up
Then my body don't care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?

I checked out her sister
Who was holdin' the bet
An' wondered what kind of trip
The young lady was on

The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little - - - - if I wasn't done yet

I told her . . .
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties in there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'
BUNS UP!
I was wheelin' an' dealin'
WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN OOOOH!
She surrender to the feelin'
SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED
An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked
An' clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke
'bout her mental health
Till Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline . . .

Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . .
M-M-M . . . it's real angora
Would у'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Y'wanna?

МММ . . . sounds like y'might be chokin' on somethin'

Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more . . .

МММ, sure . . . listen,
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

МММ . . . tweezers!
Here, lemme sterilize 'em . . ,
Gimme your lighter . . .

I couldn't say where she's comin' from.
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She stroll on over, say look here, bum
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm, Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe

I might be movin' to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of
Dental Floss

Raisin' it up
Waxin' it down
In a little white box
I can sell uptown
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss
But I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss

Well I just might grow me some bees
But I'd leave the sweet stuff
To somebody else . . . but then, on the other hand I'd

Keep the wax
N' melt it down
Pluck some Floss
N' swish it aroun'

I'd have me a crop
An' it'd be on top (that's why I'm movin' to Montana)

Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon (yes I am)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune

I'm pluckin' the оl'
Dennil Floss
That's growin' on the prairie
Pluckin' the floss!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all
Afternoon . . .

I'm ridin' a small tiny boss
(His name is MIGHTY LITTLE)
He's a good hoss
Even though
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
Any way

I'm pluckin' the оl'
Dennil Floss
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks

I'm gonna find me a horse
Just about this big
An' ride him all along the border line

With a
Pair of heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
I was mighty grand

By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss
But I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss

Well I might
Ride along the border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night

And then I'd
Get a cuppa cawfee
N' give my foot a push . . .
Just me 'n the pygmy pony
Over the Dennil Floss Bush

N' then I might just
Jump back on
An' ride
Like a cowboy
Into the dawn to Montana

Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-ty-o-ty-ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-ty-o-ty-ay)