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I am a dull and simple lad
Can not tell water from champagne
And I have never met the queen
And I wish I could have all that he has got
I wish I could be like David Watts

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And when I lie on my pillow at night
I dream I could fight like David Watts
Lead the school team to victory
And take my exams and pass the lot

(Wish I could be)
Wish I could be like David Watts
(Wish I could be)
Wish I could be like David Watts
(Wish I could be)
Conduct my life like David Watts
(Wish I could be)
I wish I could be like David Watts

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He is the head boy at the school
He is the captain of the team
He is so gay and fancy free
And I wish all his money belonged to me
I wish I could be like David Watts

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And all the girls in the neighborhood
Try to go out with David Watts
They try their best but can't succeed
For he is of pure and noble breed

Wish I could be like
Wish I could be like
Wish I could be like

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(repeat)

My makeup is dry and it clags on my chin
I'm drowning my sorrows in whisky and gin
The lion tamer's whip doesn't crack anymore
The lions they won't fight and the tigers won't roar

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
So let's all drink to the death of a clown
Won't someone help me to break up this crown
Let's all drink to the death of a clown
Let's all drink to the death of a clown

The old fortune teller lies dead on the floor
Nobody needs fortunes told anymore
The trainer of insects is crouched on his knees
And frantically looking for runaway fleas

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Let's all drink to the death of a clown
So won't someone help me to break up this crown
Let's all drink to the death of a clown
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Let's all drink to the death of a clown
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Sylvilla looked into her mirror
Percilla looked into the washing machine
And the drudgery of being wed
She was so jealous of her sister
And her liberty, and her smart young friends
She was so jealous of her sister

Sylvilla looked into the wardrobe
Percilla looked into the frying pan
And the bacon and eggs
And the breakfast is served
She was so jealous of her sister
And her way of life, and her luxury flat
She was so jealous of her sister

She threw away her dirty dishes just to be free again
Her women's weekly magazines just to be free again
And put the children in the nursery just to be free again
Percilla saw her little children
And then decided she was better off
Than the wayward lass that her sister had been
No longer jealous of her sister
So she ran 'round the house with her curlers on
No longer jealous of her sister

If, if I could see
Just how lonely my life would be
If you passed me by and said farewell
And there is no return

Stars would shine no more
I would walk up and down this lonely room
I would have friends, but be alone
For there is no return

For you were my first love
And now it looks like you've gone
And I have waited too long

For if, if I could see
Just how lonely my life would be
If you passed me by and said farewell
And there is no return
There is no return

Ah, Tom is young and Tom is bold
Tom is as bold as the knights of old
But whenever he gets in a bit of a jam
There's nothing he won't do to get a harry rag

Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And he curses himself for the life he's led
And rolls himself a harry rag and puts himself to bed

Ah, Tom's old ma is a dying lass
Soon they all reckon she'll be pushing up the grass
And her bones might ache and her skin might sag
But still she's got the strength to have a harry rag

Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And she curses herself for the life she's led
And rolls herself a harry rag and puts herself to bed

Ah, bless you tax man, bless you all
You may take some but you never take it all
But if I give it all, I won't feel sad
As long as I got enough to buy a harry rag

Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And I curse myself for the life I've led
And roll myself a harry rag and put myself to bed

Ah, the smart young ladies of the land
Can't relax without a harry in their hand
And they light one and they boast and brag
So content because they got a harry rag

Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And they'll light one and they'll boast and brag
So content because they got a harry rag

Harry rag, harry rag
I'll do anything just to get a harry rag
And I curse myself for the life I've led
And roll myself a harry rag and put myself to bed

Just a quiet city sport[?]
With a wife and little kids to support
So immaculately dressed when he walks
Like a soldier on parade

He's a tin soldier man
Living in a little tin wonderland
Very happy little tin soldier man
When you set him on your knee

Every day you see his army march down the street
Changing guards at the high road

He's a tin soldier man

Wickie wa-waddle doo[?]
And he's got a little tin lady too
Just to put a little shine on his shoes
And keep his uniform tidy

He's a tin soldier man

Wickie wa-waddle doo[?]
And he's got a little tin lady too
Just to put a little shine on his shoes
And make his uniform tidy

He's a tin soldier man
Living in a little tin wonderland
Very happy little tin soldier man
When you sit him on your knee

He's a tin soldier man
He's a tin soldier man

Suzy and Johnny were happy
Earned enough to pay the rent
But Johnny's mother-in-law had too much ambition
And this made Johnny very upset
So to keep his little mama satisfied
He went and bought the weekly classified
All for peace and quiet's sake

Johnny gave up his position
Just to please his mother-in-law
So he left the job where he'd been all his life
He left and turned his back on door[?]

Now he's looking at the situations vacant
Situations vacant
Just to keep his little mama satisfied
He went and bought the weekly classified
All for peace and quiet's sake

Then he had to leave the apartment
And sought a less plush residence
And poor Suzy and Johnny had to skimp and save
Just to help to pay the weekly rent

So to keep his little mama satisfied
He went and bought the weekly classified
All for peace and quiet's sake

Johnny's got no money
Got no where to go
Johnny's in a great big hole
Suzy's separated, living with her ma
Now little mama's satisfied

You don't have to look at me
You don't have to smile at me
You just have to love me till the sun shines
You don't have to cook for me
You don't have to laugh with me
You just have to love me till the sun shines

Take my money, I don't mind
You can be such a helpless kind[?]
You just have to love me till the sun shines

You don't have to sleep with me
Or rest your head upon my knee
You just have to love me till the sun shines
Baby you can wear my clothes,
Play my records, stay at my home
Long as you just love me till the sun shines

You can take it, I don't mind
Please don't be such a helpless kind
You just have to love me till the sun shines

Baby, baby I don't know what I'm doing
Everything I do it turns to ruin[?]

Baby you can kiss my friends
Baby there's nothing that I'll end[?]
Long as you just love me till the sun shines
You don't have to walk the streets
When there's someone waiting here
Come on, baby, love me till the sun shines

Come on, baby, I don't mind
Two lonely people, the helpless kind[?]
Come on, baby, love me till the sun shines

You don't have to look at me
You don't have to smile at me
You just have to love me till the sun shines
You don't have to cook for me
You don't have to laugh with me
You just have to love me till the sun shines

Take my money, I don't mind
You can be such a helpless kind[?]
You just have to love me till the sun shines

Lazy old sun
What have you done to summertime?
Hiding away
Behind all those misty thunder clouds
I don't mind
To spend my time
Looking for you
For you are my one reality
When I'm dead and gone
Your light will shine eternally
Sunny rain, shine my way
Kiss me with one ray of light from your lazy old sun

You make the rainbows and you make the night disappear
You melt the frost so I won't criticize my sun

When I was young
My world was three foot, seven inch tall
When you were young
There was no world at all
Sunny rain, shine my way
Kiss me with one ray of light from your lazy old sun

Lazy old sun
Lazy old sun
Lazy old sun

Tea time won't be the same without my Donna
At night I lie awake and dream of Donna
I think about that small cafe
That's where we used to meet each day
And then we used to sit a while
And drink our afternoon tea

I'll take afternoon tea (afternoon tea)
If you take it with me (afternoon tea)
You take as long as you like
'Cause I like you, girl

I take sugar with tea (afternoon tea)
You take milk if you please (afternoon tea)
Like you talking to me
Because you ease my mind

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba (afternoon tea)
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba (afternoon tea)
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba (afternoon tea)
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba (afternoon tea)

Tea time still ain't the same without my Donna
At night I lie awake and dream of Donna
I went to our cafe one day
They said that Donna walked away
You'd think at least she might have stayed
To drink her afternoon tea

I'll take afternoon tea (afternoon tea)
If you take it with me (afternoon tea)
You take as long as you like
'Cause I like you, girl

I take afternoon tea (afternoon tea)
Every day of the week (afternoon tea)
Please come along if you like
Because I like you, girl

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba (afternoon tea)
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba (afternoon tea)

You're walking 'round in my memory
That only gets stronger and stronger
Smudged mascara and pill-shaped eyes
Everything you want was bought with lies.

But what can I do about it
The say you won't last any longer
All the gates of love you won't walk through
The only gates you see are colored blue.

I see you peering through frosted windows
Eyes don't smile, all they do is cry
Funny Face, she's all right
Funny Face, she's all right
Funny Face, she's all right

Oh how can I live without her
The doctors won't let me see her
But I can catch a glimpse through the doorway
Of the girl that I love and care for

I see you peering through frosted windows
Eyes don't smile, all they do is cry
Funny Face, she's all right
Funny Face, she's all right
Funny Face, she's all right

Winter time is coming
All the sky is grey
Summer birds aren't singing
Since you went away

Since you've been gone, end of the season
Winter is here, close of play
I get no kicks walking down Saville Row
There's no more chicks left where the green grass grows and I know that
Winter is here, end of the season
My reason's gone, close of play
I just can't mix in all the clubs I know
Now Labour's in, I have no place to go

You're on a yacht near an island in Greece
Though you are hot, forget me not
I will keep waiting until your return
Now you are gone, end of the season
Winter will come any day
Back in the scrum on a wet afternoon
Down in the mud, dreaming of flowers in June
End of the season
End of the season

Dirty old river, must you keep rolling
Flowing into the night
People so busy, makes me feel dizzy
Taxi light shines so bright
But I don't need no friends
As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset
I am in paradise

Every day I look at the world from my window
But chilly, chilly is the evening time
Waterloo sunset's fine

Terry meets Julie Waterloo Station
Every Friday night
But I am so lazy, don't want to wander
I stay at home at night
But I don't feel afraid
As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset
I am in paradise

Every day I look at the world from my window
But chilly, chilly is the evening time
Waterloo sunset's fine

Millions of people swarming like flies 'round Waterloo underground
But Terry and Julie cross over the river
Where they feel safe and sound
And the don't need no friends
As long as they gaze on Waterloo sunset
They are in paradise

Waterloo sunset's fine