Bernie's Holiday Camp (performed by the Who, with vocals by Oliver Reed, Ann-Margret and Alison Dowling) - 3:42

[FRANK]

I'm your friendly green coat,
And I welcome you to Bernie's Holiday Camp!
G'day, and you'll be happy,
And it 's Bernie you will thank.
You must be little Tommy.
Well, call me Uncle Frank.
Welcome you too, Mrs. Walker,
Here you'll always find a helping hand!
The camp with the extras,
.....
If you come to Bernie's,
You might think you're in Heaven!

[TOMMY]

Did you know I had an Uncle Frank?
I've never met him.
Lookie, Mom, a cage of budgies!
A swimming pool and donkey rides, oh Please!
It's all free, Mom!

[FRANK]

Here we have the winner, folks!
Have you ever seen a lovelier pair?
What a shapely ankle!
What a perfect shin!
If you could feel this silken thigh,
You'd know who has to win!
If you could feel this silken thigh,
You'd know.

[MRS. WALKER]

You don't know how much I've missed
To feel a man again,
To dance, to kiss.

[FRANK]

Your eyes reveal: You're lovely.

[MRS. WALKER]

This evening must pass slowly.
Until we're one, my heart won't rest.
Will Tommy share our happiness?

You don't know how much I've missed
To feel a man again,
To dance, to kiss.

[FRANK ]

I'll be more than an uncle;
I'll be just like a Dad!

[TOMMY]

I will be a green coat too,
And when I'm big, I'll own a Holiday Camp!
A camp with a difference,
Always be good weather.
When you come to Tommy's,
The holiday's forever!

[NORA]

I'm glad you like your Uncle Frank.
He'll surely love you too, just like a Dad.

[TOMMY]

He's very nice, I think.
Did he fight in the War?

[BOTH]

When he's got his green coat on,
I love him even more.