Call Any Vegetable (Zappa) - 2:15

This is a song about vegetables... they keep you regular...
they're real good for you.

Call any vegetable
Call it by name
Call one today
When you get off the train
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
That the vegetable will respond to you

Some people don't go for prunes...
I don't know, I've always found that if they...

Call any vegetable
Pick up your phone
Think of a vegetable
Lonely at home
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
That the vegetable will respond to you

Rutabaga, Rutabaga, Rutabaga, Rutabaga
A prune isn't really a vegetable...
Cabbage is a vegetable...

No one will know
If you don't want to let them know
No one will know
'less it's you that might tell them so
Call and they'll come to you
Covered with dew
Vegetables dream of responding to you
Standing there shiny and pround by your side
Holding your hand while the neighbors decide
Why is a vegetable something to hide

A lot of people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom.
They think: Oh, ah, what can I say? What can a person like myself say
to a vegetable?...
But the answer is simple, my friends: Just call, and tell them how you feel...
about muffins... pumpkins... wax paper... Caledonia Mahogany's elbows...
and green things in general... and soon: a new rapport... you and your
new little green and yellow buddies: grooving together... oh no! maintaining
your coolness together! worshipping together in the church of your choise...
(only in America...) woo-hoo-hoo ...

Call any vegetable
Call it by name
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
WOW! that the vegetable will respond to you!