The Untouchables

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[includes a quote from Hawaii Five-0 (Stevens)]

[Monologue by Ike Willis

Civic Center, Providence
March 16, 1988]

Rico! Youngblood! Wake up!
Prohibition is over, but the country's still a mess!
They need us out there!
We've got some cleaning up to do - especially when it comes to
THIS GUY...
Get those sport coats on with the big lapels...
They're back - they're fashionable again!
Okay - let's look at some mug-sheets
Of the suspects from the 80's...

ADMIRAL POINDEXTER! Get back on Felix The Cat where you belong!
Get the damn pipe out of your mouth!
You're history, you're gone!

OLIVER NORTH! No "Secret Government" for you, buddy!
You're over! you're trough!

BILL CASEY! You're dead!
(I mean that... )

BUSH! You're still a wimp - I'm sorry - You're history!

DEAVER! NOFZIGER! You're crooks! Book 'em Dan-o! Dan-o? How'd he get in the show? Get outta here!

REAGAN! You're asleep! Wake up! The country's in a mess!
You're anyway out in the way, buddy
You're history - you're meat - you're through!
You're vapor - you're baloney without the mayo, buddy!
You're outta here - In fact, it's Robin Leach instead!
"I don't know why... "

Hey, fellas - take me to the bridge! I want it now!
Rico! Youngblood! Let's get outta here! It's all over!

THE UNTOUCHABLES!

FZ: And The Untouchables are: Ike Willis...
Ike: Thank you!
FZ: Mike Keneally...
Ike: History!
FZ: Walt Fowler, Bruce Fowler, Paul Carman, Albert Wing, Kurt McGettrick, Chad Wackerman, Ed Mann, Robert Martin, Scott Thunes, Eric Buxton... Thanks for coming to the show, and good night!

 

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from the album

Broadway the Hard Way
Broadway the Hard Way