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Do You Like My New Car?Song ratingsNot rated yet. Lyrics
You are ... you gotta tell me something ... I mean, seriously,
I'm tellin' you this is the first time that any of my girlfriends and I have ever met anybody really from Hollywood... I mean really ... my girlfriend Jim, and lan, and Aynsley, and Bob, and Frank ... I mean, none of us ... "Pleased to meet you ..." We've never met a pop star from Hollywood .. . tell me something: have you ever met Davey Jones? or Bobby Sherman? ''No... no, I ..." I mean . . . David Cassady, he's so ... "Jimmy Greenspoon, once I ..." Three Dog Night?!! "Yeah..." Oh! I love them! They're my favorite band! ... oh gawd . . .oh, do you like my new car? I'm ah ... my Dad just gave it to me for graduation . . . "Ah yeeaah?! It's a ... it's a Fillmore, isn't it? Real futuristic, ah... I dig the fins. . . listen: do you know how to get to the ah Holiday Inn from here?" No, ah ... which one is it? "(burp) excuse, me. It's the one by the airport . . . you know ... cause we gotta get up early an' . . . fly outta here in the morning, y'know ..." Oh, I didn't know that . . . Where do you guys play tomorrow night? I mean, I'd like to come maybe ... in your bus or somethin' . . . "Yeah??..." (Voice in background:) In the bus! . . . "Come in the bus, huh? ... Tomorrow we're in ah, let's see ... Tierra del Fuego ..." Ooh! You're so professional, Howie! . .. "Oh it's not ... it's nothing ..." Howie, I mean, the way you gettin' tp-tp- to play, an' all these exotic places, I mean ... "Yeah ..." Tell me something ... tell me and all my girl - ... tell me: Do you really have a hit record ... on the charts now?... with a bullet?... I mean that's really important to me ... "Listen, honey: Would I lie to you just to get in your pants?" He-hey! Listen! Hey, listen to me tellin' ya: WE ARE NOT GROUPIES! "Naw, I never ... I never said ..." We are not groupies! You better understand that!... I told Robert Planet, I told Elton John, I told all those big guys... "Robert Planet?!" We are not groupies! "No, I never ..." Roger Daltrey never laid a hand on me! "Yah ... it's obvious to see why ... listen, I never..." (2nd non-groupie) Howie ... (1st non-groupie) Tell him! Tell him right now! (2nd non-groupie) We only like musicians for f-friends. You know? (voices in back) Real straight arrow, Howie ... Really . . . just for friends, Howie ... (2nd non-groupie) But we still like you. Yeah ... we wouldn't mind coming in your bus, but... (2nd non-groupie) I mean, we still want to hear your record... "Listen, you chicks! now didn' . . . didn't you just say that you got off bein' juked with a BABY OCTOPUS and spewed upon with cream corn? an' that your hair-lipped dyke-o bass-playing girlfriend on the backseat had to have it with a Yoo-Hoo bottle or she went apeshit?! . . . '' Oooooh... "What's the deal, baby? Come on ..." Howie! Howie, lissen to me ... all that's true ... "Come across ..." All that's true, and sometimes I even dig it with a Doctor Brown's Cream Soda ... or a CEL-RAY! . . . but! we are not groupies! No matter what you think . . . "No, I never ..." We are not groupies . . . "You see, there seems to be some kind of a communications problem, honey . . . because I ... I am a lonely guy from outta town, y'know an' . . . an' I want some ACTION . . . what I'm talkin' about is, I wanna . . . a-a-steaming . . . succulent ... ever-widening, gooey, drippy, runny kind of a hole with a . . with.. . how shall I put this. . what say we hop in the trunk of your Gremlin AN' GET OUR ROCKS OFF ..." Hey! hey-hey-hey-heyyyy . . . Jesus! . . . (voice in back) I'm in this band, man ... (voice up front) Very agile, Howie, very agile . . . (voice in back) I am in this band no matter what we do up here . . . it's all ... Now lissen! It just so happens . . . tonight me and my girlfriends, I mean, we've all come here for one thing tonight . . . (Yeah? . . .) Looking for a guy . . . And we're looking for a guy free a group . . . (Wow! . . .) BUT HE'S GOTTA HAVE A DICK! (WAAAAH!) AND HE'S GOTTA HAVE A DICK THAT'S A MONSTER!! (WAAAAAAAHH!!) "That's me!! That's me! ooh! . . . oohhhh, you voluptuous Manhattan Island clit .. Take me ... I'm yours, you hole ... Fulfill my . . . wildest . . . dreams! . . . '' Ooooh! Anything for you, my most seductive, seclusive . . . pop star of a man . . . picture this if you can: bead jobs! (Aaah!) knotted nylons! (Ooooh!) bamboo canes! (Ooooh!) three unreleased recordings of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young fighting in the dressing-room of the Fillmore East! (Aaaaah!) Why, 'n enchilada wrapped with pickle sauce shook up and down in between a donkey's legs until he can't stand it anymore ! (EEEAAH!) All this and more, Howie! Including! an electric cooled pony harness, with fuel injection . . . fuel injection . . . fuel injection . . . "Oooh! my god. I ... I ... I can't stand it! ... I mean.. I mean, do you understand the implications of what I'm saying? I CAN'T STAND IT !!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!! I CANT STAND IT!!!!! ... OH NO!!! . . o my god!... I can't stand it ... oohh ... I really can't stand it ...please . . . give it to me . . . give it to me right here in the trunk of your Gremlin ... give me ... GIVE ME THE ENCHILADA WITH THE PICKLE SAUCE SHOVED UP BETWEEN A DONKEY'S ASS UNTIL HE CAN'T COME ANYMORE! ..." Hey-hey! haha! Not until you sing me your big hit record! . . .and I want to hear the big hit record, and I wanna hear it now. an' I wanna hear the big hit record now with a bullet! With a bullet! "The bullet ...?" The BULLET! the BULLET! It's the part that gets me the hottest . . . hehe! . . . now sing me that record, and I wanna hear it right now or you ain't driving nowhere tonight, buddy . . . "Well, I know when I'm licked ... all over ... Okay, baby BEND OVER AND SPREAD 'EM! . . . Here comes my ... BULLET!!" (all sing "Happy Together")
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